How do you define “health” or “fitness?” I define it as balance and happiness; however, if you asked me this question three or four years ago, my response would have been incredibly different.
As a competitive swimmer for a large chunk of my childhood, I was always EXTREMELY active. Practice was a three hour commitment, five days a week. And as every swimmer knows, meets took up most of the weekend. Most of my childhood was spent in the pool doing sprints and practicing dives. Aside from all of the cardio, I had a “swimmer’s appetite,” which means I was fueled by bagels and pasta at every meal!
My world turned upside down when I fractured my foot in 2012, which meant no more swimming. I went from constantly moving, to doing nothing. And my body FREAKED out. I gained a vast amount of weight extremely quickly and when the time came to get back into the pool… yeah right. Although I was physically healed, I felt debilitated when I was no longer able to keep up in the pool. I felt discouraged and defeated. I hated feeling that way. My swimming career ended that year and my world continued to spiral downwards.
I had gained about 30 pounds that year. At age 15, I was 150 pounds, my highest weight, which was a lot for my 5’3 frame. My life felt out of control. My weight caused me to sink into a depression. I turned to food, alcohol, and other outlets for comfort.
I finally began to recognize who and what I surrounded myself with and I was not happy with the person I became. This was the start of my fitness journey; however, I did not know where to start.
I did what I heard “worked.” I cut all carbs and found myself in the gym doing cardio six or seven days a week. If I missed a workout day, I would hate myself and double up the next day. If I ate something “I couldn’t eat,” I hated myself and work try and “burn it off.” I lived this way for two years.
Did the weight come off? Yes. Did it last? No.
I lost the weight, but the second I began eating “normal” again, I started to gain it back. My yoyo diets only worked for a little while. Gaining weight was one of my biggest fears. After working so hard, how could I possibly let myself gain any weight, right?
This is when it took a turn for the worse.
I became bulimic. I had the idea that “I could now eat whatever I wanted as long as it’s excreted.” I found myself purging in my car in parking lots, at restaurants, at family’s houses— I was very good at hiding it to say the least.
This lasted eight months. And took almost dying to realize I had enough.
I lost my period, suffered severe digestional issues— had to get a colonoscopy at the age of 18, my mouth and teeth were wearing, my eyes were bloodshot, my face was puffy, and my acne was flaring.
God bless my (now) fiancé for helping me through this. I struggled for months. And although I was not in the binge/purge cycle, aside from a couple of relapses; I was still working out six days a week without eating any carbs. I couldn’t eat without feeling guilty. I was so unhappy with my body and I felt like I was not living life to the fullest. This lasted two years. I was skinny, but it was utterly unmaintainable.
And then, I discovered bodybuilding.
I was fascinated with the fact that you could make your body look however you wanted. The first time I picked up the weights, my life changed. I wanted to start seeing changes and this was the first step for me. I learned that to build the muscle I was looking for, I had to eat. I stopped stressing over cardio, I was actually eating carbs, enjoying “date nights,” having fun, going out— I finally began to find balance.
Looking back now, I vow to myself that I will take every possible effort to prevent ANYONE from
My mission? To prevent ANYONE from taking ANY extremes.
Why am I here for you? To help you find YOUR balance and YOUR maintainable, healthy lifestyle.
Why am I doing this? To help YOU. I have been there. And I can help you reach absolutely any goal you are striving for.
In pursuing my career as personal trainer and coach, I strive to educate, motivate, and inspire to create a beautiful life for yourself.
Want to start on your own fitness journey? Contact me here to get started and see which plan works best for you!